Monotony

I am stuck in a rut, just living through the motions and the monotony of life. School, study, work. That's all it ever is. I need something new and inspiring in my life. 

the perfect guy

I am almost positive that there is no "perfect guy" out there for me. I know its just wishful thinking, but I really did hope that I could find someone that is everything I want in a significant other. Someone that loves me for all that I am - weird with a kooky sense of humor, sensitive, quirky, tomboyish, crazy, and a bit jealous. Someone that makes me feel like I'm the only girl in the world, at least the only one that matters. I mean, don't get me wrong, I know that there are millions of attractive women. But I want a guy to make me feel as if all those other girls don't matter because he only has eyes for me. I want a guy to make me feel beautiful, inside and out. I want him to make me feel secure, not just with our relationship, but also with every decision that I make since he would support me unconditionally. I want a guy that is sensitive, understanding, and very intuitive with my emotions. I want someone that has a similar sense of humor with me; someone that would laugh at my weird, offbeat jokes and make other weird comments as well. I really do wish that this "perfect guy" exists, but I am pretty sure he doesn't

As I think about the "perfect guy" as well as relationships in general, I start to believe that maybe there is a purpose that soul mates don't exist. I mean, maybe there is perfection in all the little imperfections? That these flaws exist in a significant other so that both of you guys can grow together and learn how to be more compatible. No matter what, I have hope for us <3

Relationships and Effort

Relationships are not intended to be easy. They take a lot of work, patience, understanding, and mutual effort. All relationships have difficulties, but the important part is going passed those difficulties and figuring out how to work things out. To me, effort is one of the most essential aspects in a relationship, and it is of the utmost importance to find someone that is willing to go out of their way to make a relationship work; someone willing to put in the time and effort to be there for the other person, handle and deal with issues by talking things out, as well as growing emotionally with your significant other.

Remember

I remember in the beginning, I didn't want to be with you. I told you I didn't want to get hurt again and that I was trying to protect my heart. But you assured me that you wouldn't break it and you told me to just give us a chance. And I believed it. My fault. And while we were together you kept saying, "I'm going to hold on to you for as long as I can. Don't ever leave me!" and at that point I felt secure about our relationship and about us. My fault again. I think everything is my fault. You know why? Because I trusted you blindly. Because I believed everything you said. Because I loved you more than you could even imagine. In the end, I guess everything was my fault for falling for you.

Are you kidding me? You're going to talk shit about stuff you don't even know about? That's really petty, I'm almost sorry for you. I'm not even mad. I just wish you knew the facts before you ran your mouth. I didn't even talk about how scary you were last year. But I'm glad you got over it. I'm glad that you coped even if that meant hating me. Good luck in the battleship, and I mean it.